We at the Mollie Plotkin Group pride ourselves in representing a diverse range of keynote speakers. Not only do we strive to be equitable in our business practices, but by giving everyone an equal opportunity, we best serve both our clients and our keynote speakers. In celebration of International Women’s Day, we are highlighting a blog post written by one of the many powerful women represented by MPG.
In her youth, Lisa Kohn was raised in a fanatical cult by her mother. However, against all odds, she reclaimed her autonomy and dedicated her life to helping those who are struggling with addiction.
What other people think of me is none of my business…
by Lisa Kohn
I first heard this decades ago, in Al-Anon. I’ll come clean – I’m still working on it.
The concept blew me away back then. I repeated it over and over to myself. I shared it with clients. I etched it on my brain. I thought I “got it.”
But damn, this one is hard for me. That said, I’m tired of it and ready to be done.
Yes, I have every excuse to be acutely tuned to everyone around me. Yes, my brain was carved and pickled in this way by my cult. Yes, I was taught – directly and subtle-ly – that I was tainted and sinful and not enough…and this propelled me into always reading the room and the moods and the needs of others around me. Being acutely aware of where I was falling short and where I was somehow passing for okay. Yes, I wasn’t safe when I was young, and I learned to care a hell of a lot about what other people thought about me. I cared as if my life depended on it, and I think sometimes it did.
But I’m tired of it and I’m ready to be done.
So, I have a new practice that I’m experimenting with, when I feel myself focusing on what you think and want and think of me rather than on what I think and want and think of me myself. I pull myself back into my body however I can – by feeling my feet on the ground, noticing specific sights or sounds or smells around me, paying attention to my breathing – and then I zip myself up in my mind, to close myself back into myself.
When I start paying more attention to what you’re thinking about me and if you’re mad at me or disappointed by me or anything, I lose myself. I literally feel as if I’m oozing out of holes in my being.
So, I pull myself back in and zip myself back up and remind myself that what you think of me is none of my business…no matter how much my brain is screeching that it is.
Yes, of course, I then put my hand on my heart (Thank you Tara Brach! It’s my answer to just about everything.) Yes, I remind myself that I am safe…and whole…and enough…and more than enough…and dare I say spectacular.
Honestly, what you think of me is none of my business. I have enough to focus on when I just focus on myself.
And I will Love (myself) With All My Heart.
I’d love to hear your thoughts, and please share this post with others if it resonates with you!
Lisa Kohn is Now an Executive Coach
On International Women’s Day, a commemorative celebration of the achievements of influential people in history, we are overjoyed to spotlight Lisa Kohn’s writing. Kohn writes with stunning introspective insight, acts with selflessness, and maintains her personal identity. She is one of many women in America who are contributing to social progress and the legacy of International Women’s Day.
Now, Kohn travels the country sharing the holistic and practical benefits of exercising resilience in day-to-day life. Do not miss an opportunity to host one of the most insightful keynote speakers in the industry. Contact the Mollie Plotkin Group for an affordable quote today.
