Guest Post by Shola Richards
“This place is a dumpster fire, no one knows how to act with professionalism around here!”
I remember my colleague Jim (not his real name) at my former workplace angrily muttering those words aloud as he stormed past me and slammed the door to his office.
My mama would always say, “there are two types of people in the world, baby. The ones who make you feel good as soon as they walk into the room, and the ones who make you feel good as soon as they walk out of it.”
Not only was Jim squarely in the latter category, but ironically, he was also notorious for being the biggest workplace terror in the entire organization. Self-awareness is a gift, and sadly, it was a gift that he never received.
Unfortunately for us though, people like Jim are more common than we may think.
The Statistics Tell the Story
According to the nationwide survey Civility in America VII: The State of Civility, 75% of Americans believe that incivility has reached crisis levels in the United States, but 94% of Americans also believe that they are always or usually polite and respectful to others.
Not only do we have an incivility crisis, we also have a self-awareness crisis.
These crises come at a steep price for working professionals. According to a survey by the Society for Human Resources Management, they found that two-thirds of workers (66%) say they have experienced or witnessed incivility in their workplace within the past month and over half (57%) have experienced or witnessed incivility at work within the past week.
Thankfully, there’s something that can be done about this, and it begins with us consistently showing up to work as our Hire Selves. Or worded differently—do you remember the person who you said you would be in your job interview?
Yes, that person is your Hire Self.
Becoming Your Hire Self
In a job interview, would you ever dream of saying any of the following statements?
- “I prefer to gossip and spread rumors about people instead of engaging in the hard work of finding common ground with them.”
- “I believe that there are legitimate reasons to demean, yell, or curse at people at work.”
- “I freely give kindness to the people whom I believe can help my career advancement (my clients and my boss), while withholding kindness from those whom I believe can’t help me (my coworkers and direct reports).”
Doubtful.
If we said any of those things in our job interview, not only would we not have our current jobs, but even worse, we’d be actively contributing to the problem (workplace incivility) that we’re trying to fix.
To prevent that unfortunate outcome—before we say or do anything at work, we must hold ourselves accountable by asking ourselves, “is this what my Hire Self would say or do?”
If yes, then proceed.
If not, please pause and choose a better option.
The positive impact of the above question multiplies when it is used on work teams to keep ourselves and others accountable to building a culture of workplace civility.
If nothing else, remember this: if we would never dream of saying it in a job interview, then we shouldn’t dare to do it once we actually get the job.
And as an added bonus—by committing to being our Hire Selves, not only will we create a more civil work culture, but like my mama said, we’ll bring joy whenever we enter a room, instead of when we leave it.
